Recollections (one shot)

It was a sunny Monday morning for Dawn fresh from her Malipano weekend getaway with the whole family and some "kumares" along with their respective families. It was a refreshing weekend for everybody as being far from of rolling cameras meant relaxation. Everybody's back in the Metro though. Early this morning, the group, led by Anton and Dawn (being the weekenders' hosts) took the first flight for Manila since almost all of them (except for the kids) will be back to work.               

She was dead tired from an early morning travel and was dealing with an air pocket due to a high pressure 1 hour airbus ride yet, she got an 11 am magazine photo shoot schedule to attend to that morning. She showered up and went straight on location keeping in mind to arrive at least on or before the call time.

Clad in an old rose knee length dress, she asked Ed (the driver) how long will it take for them to arrive on set and if it is still possible for her to take a nap even for just a couple of minutes.

"Ma'am, sa lagay ho ng traffic eh mukhang aabutin tayo ng isang oras. Lunes na lunes ho talaga ang traffic."

She checked her wrist watch and smiled to her driver on the rear view mirror.

"So pwede pa akong umidlip ng isang oras, sige Ed, you take your time maaga pa naman eh, iidlip lang ako sandali ha."

"Sige ma'am, makakarating po tayo ng alas onse."

She smiled and leaned to her side and was about to close her eyes when she got a text from Vivian.

"Good Morning! I'm on my way to the photoshoot, meet you there. I'm with Janet and the whole wardrobe team."

"Ok, on my way too. I'd be there in less than an hour, will take a nap lang." She replied.

She set her phone in silent mode and drifted to slumber mode when in less than 5 mins it vibrated. She expected it to be Vivian's reply but her eyebrows furrowed when the screen displayed the sender's name, it read: "Gomz".

Her eyebrows even met and she even sighed on exasperation upon reading his text.

"Good Morning ganda!"

She ignored his message determined to take her much needed nap, only to feel it vibrate in her hands after 2 minutes. Another message from "Gomz".

"Wag masungit ganda, it's monday you know. Sige ka, weeklong din bubusangot yang mukha mo. Hahaha"

No, don't reply. Don't reply. You need your nap. She is close to giving in.

Yet, in less than a minute her phone buzzed again. A 3rd message from "Gomz" read:

"Ganda, naka unli ako just so you know, I'll pester you hanggang sa mag reply ka."

She just wanted her sleep period. Knowing how Richard can still be childish and impatient at times, she decided to reply in her childish way as well.

"😠😡😤😾😼🙏💤😵😲😖" (these are "usok ilong" emojis, computer won’t display it, sorry! Hehe – ed.)

Sent.

"Whoa! Umuulan ka na naman ng emojis! Hahaha Can i call you?"

This time she gave in, she tapped the reply button and typed:

"No. Unless it’s extremely important or emergency or end of the world. I want my nap, Gomz."

"Kita mo 'to ang sungit kagagaling lang ng bakasyon. This is just a quick one, please? Di kita papatulugin unless you'll let me call, naka unli ako as what I've said."

My God, this MAN is beyond child like. Ang kulit kulit! Makukit pa kay Jacobo at Ayisha. And before she knew it she gave in.

"Okay okay shoot! 😠😡😤" (emojis again. :) - ed.)

After a few seconds she took Richard's call with exasperation in her voice.

"What is it this time? Better make it quick, parang awa mo na I need to take a nap and I'm on my way to a photo shoot! That would be in less than an hour Gomez!"

"Hey breathe Dawn, eto naman. Wag masungit baka naka busangot ka din sa photoshoot mamaya."

"Ano na nga? Dali!"

"Well, I cleared my things out from my office it has to be repainted na kasi. I found the original script of Iisa Pa Lamang here." There was an undeniable sadness in his voice.

Iisa Pa Lamang script? So this kid trapped in a man's body ruined my sleep because of a script?

"What about it?" 

This conversation is clearly going nowhere.

"It's your copy of the script, Dawn."

"My copy? How come you have it?"

Dawn has a habit of collecting scripts from all of her projects for keepsake. She didn't even remember losing her Iisa Pa Lamang script. 

"I took it from your memorabilia box - it was the... uhm - the day you left the house. I mean my house."

Richard was trying to choose his words carefully. 

"Bakit? What's the point of having it before?"

"That day when you decided to leave, you were upstairs clearing out your clothes from our closet and I was just there in the living room. I was a mess. I couldn't say a word that time Dawn, I felt was losing everything as I was losing you. Along the many other stuffs that you brought out from our room I saw your memo box and your scripts in it. I took out the Iisa Pa Lamang script. Eto ang una kong nakuha out of nowhere. Dahil na din siguro memorable ang movie na to, not saying that the others were not pero, you know what I mean, nasa peak tayo ng relationship when we were doing this, para ngang di tayo nag ta trabaho dito eh, para lang tayong nag bakasyon with a whole bunch of people. Pababa ka na rin nun kaya naitabi ko ng biglaan. At yun nag ka dramahan na tayo bago ka umalis.  I even remembered asking for another chance."

Dawn felt the memory flashing right before her eyes as she took a deep sigh gripping her phone tightly as if drawing strength there.

"Yes and I remembered walking out on you." Was all she can manage to say.

"Because I was a jerk, a total one." He answered quickly in a weak tone that was almost too  dragging to hear.

Silence.

"Kulang na pala mga collections ko ikaw ha! Ibalik mo sakin yan, importante kaya ang pelikulang yan sakin." 

Dawn jested, trying to break the deafening silence in their conversation. She knew he meant every word he said.

"Sakin din naman ah, eto kaya yung pelikula na inlove na inlove ka na sakin!" 

He said smirking.

"Ako lang ba? Ikaw din naman ah patay na patay ka na rin sakin diyan! Kaya kunot noo ka diyan sa tuwing magkaiba tayo ng location noon!"

"Pano kasi ang lalayo ng locations natin."

This time Richard turned serious again.

"But I really had good time shooting it Dawn, especially the Biri scenes. At oo, inlove na inlove tayo sa pelikulang to. I guess that made everything a lot easier for everybody kahit gaano ka layo ng location."

"Yeah, the midnight star gazing in Biri was one of the best, Gomz."

"And the swimming all day! After 3 days sa Biri ka kulay mo na ako!"

"That too, everything was just so perfect at that time."

Everything was just so perfect at that time.

Silence again.

"Yeah.. So pano matulog ka na. Baka naman makita ang eyebags mo sa photoshoot balikan mo pa ako."

"Ikaw kasi ang kulit kulit at yang script ko na ninakaw mo paki dala next week, akin yan no!"

"Still doing that? Keeping your scripts?"

"Yeah, it became a habit you know. Makapal kapal nga ang naicompile ko sa Walang Hanggan."

Richard smiled. The sentimental Dawn that he used to know is still the same. The used to be ladylove of his life who valued everything even from the littlest details of their relationship - from the resto receipts where they both had food feast, to the check-in tickets among the various out of the country trips they had, to the Polaroid pictures that they randomly took with each other (he even kept one of her wearing his shirt smiling full blast sans make up) and yes, to the scripts of the movies she or they both starred in, all kept and carefully labeled. Yes, she was sentimental and OC and he marveled those characteristics of her. What he cannot tell is, if those trinkets were still with her until now. Baka tinapon na or worse sinunog. He wouldn't dare to ask. After all he didn't know what to feel if indeed she burned those into flames. Sayang naman. Ah - those memories. He smiled at the thought. At the moment what he is sure however was, he once loved that sentimental side of her because not to mention, he was one too even up to now.

"You haven't changed, Dawn, even a bit. Take your nap na, ingat sa daan. May taping na tayo next week. Ayokong may bukol ang leading lady ko."

"Magkabukol man ako, corny ka pa din, Gomez. Seriously, thank you. Pano I'll see you next week?"

"See you next week, Dawn."

Their lines went dead. Dawn leaned back as she closed her eyes that has been pooling with tears. She has been constantly fighting the urge to cry the moment Richard made mention about that particular scene 20 years ago. She leaned back closer to the window when a familiar sound of a piano melody from the radio hummed in.

Sa dinami-dami ng aking minahal 

Panandalian lamang at ilan ang nagtagal 

Iisa pa lamang ang binabalikan 

Alaala ng kahapong pinabayaan 

Sa dinami-dami ng aking nakapiling 

Kung sinu-sino ang umibig sa akin 

Iisa pa lamang ang inaasam-asam 

Ang nakalipas, di maaring balikan 

Talk about fate, it can really be playful at times.

She closed her eyes again as the memories they once shared in Biri flashed on her mind, the star gazing moments, specifically.

"Andaming stars! Ano nga ang favorite constellation mo? Dali abang tayo ng falling stars, Babe."

Dawn gushed over Richard on which he in return said nothing but instead was merely looking at her admiringly. They were under the moonlit sky of Biri, laying over its stone formations with hands intertwined, an hour after Direk Joey announced "pack up" for that day's Iisa Pa Lamang movie shooting.

"Paano tayo makakakita niyan kung di ka naman sa taas nakatingin?" She asked as she caught Richard's eyes.

"Bakit pa ako titingin dun kung nandito naman ang pinakamagandang star sa tabi ko." Richard said tucking several strands of her hair to her ears by his free hand.

She pinched his nose. "Corny!"

"So pag naka kita tayo, anong gagawin natin? Mag wi-wish ng sabay?" He asked looking above the glittering sky.

"You too believe in that, Babe?" She said in awe, looking at his direction as if trying to say if he too, believed in well, superstitions.

Richard took her hand that was intertwined with his and kissed it as he looked straight into her eyes delving and whispered gently, "You made me believe in everything, Love."

At kahit iba na ang minamahal mo 

Kung sino man ang siyang may-ari ng iyong puso 

Ang bawat pangalan, kalaro, kaibigan

Dawn wiped the tears and sighed as the recollections went vividly remarkable and too much to bear. Yet she closed her eyes again for the nth time with tears flowing through and fro but this time she allowed herself to be swept by the emotions and the song.

No words were needed because even herself has to agree with the last line of the song.

Iisa pa lamang ang minahal ko ng ganito.

--------------------------------

Hi everybody! Rain always makes me sober. And most likely, while starring outside the window my mind would tend to create scenarios of CharDawn "what ifs". Lots of them. And thus, this one shot came up. My apologies however that the emojis were not visible, got that idea kasi si mama mahilig magpa ulan ng emojis sa mga messages niya to us. Enjoy! :)

- xoxopenguin

editor's note:

 i don't proofread my works. my apologies for any incorrect punctuation or grammar. comments and reviews are very much appreciated. ♥

CharDawn fic "What If" (Chapter 5. Conversations and Realizations)

9:30 AM. January 7, 2013

Richard straightened his back as he gripped his phone tighter. His eyebrows met as he counted the 6^th ring the he heard on the other line. Why isn’t she picking this call? Kanina lang busy, tapos ngayon ayaw sagutin. He got into his signature bugnutin look.

Ring.

“Goms…” he finally heard her angelic voice on the other line.

His throat turned dry.

“Dawn… Hi… G… good morning.” He can’t help it, her voice made him startle. Bakit ba ako nauutal.  Richard wanted to scold himself.

“Good morning… Uy, are you okay? You seemed to be anxious.” She asked. Ako ata kinakabahan sayo eh. Her inner voice would tell her.

“No… Yes! Yes! I’m okay.” He answered back, then slapping his forehead. Umayos ka, ikaw may gustong tawagan siya.

“No then Yes? Pwede ba yun? Goms ha, kilala kita. Ninenerbiyos ka ba?” She said addressing him directly.

“Ako? Hindi… ano kasi, masama lang pakiramdam ko. May konting sinat.” He answered, which is partially true because half of it he was really nervous.

“Bakit? Nilagnat ka sa napanood mo kagabi?” She teased. “And by the way, kita ko nag blush ka nga!” She added while giggling on the other line.

“Ikaw kasi eh, masyadong honest!” He shot back, he smiled upon the memory.

“At ikaw, masyadong echos! Sus, Love lang di mo maalala? Ewan ko sa yo Goma… O ba’t ka napatawag?” She asked, she’s clearly enjoying this conversation.

“Promise hindi ko talaga maalala… Sorry…” Of course, I do remember. It used to be the only word that I only knew at that time for it used to be my term for the woman that drove me crazy in love. And it was you, only you. And you know what; it almost killed me when I acted like a fool for not remembering it. I know it pained you too, I saw it in your eyes. When you said “nagtampo”, I brought you closer to my side for I knew; whether you’ll admit it or not a part of it was true. Nagtampo ka nga nung hindi ko maalala. At gusto kitang yakapin dahil gusto kong mag sorry.

“Sus, eto ang hilig mo pa din mag sorry. Oo sige na…” She retreated. Alam ko naman na alam mo pa, but I also knew that pride of yours is eating you. I knew you were just acting up. It was your defense mechanism because all the time during that GGV taping, between you and me you were the obvious one Goms. Your eyes, your smile and the way you look. And by the way, I missed that smile. It was like after 23 years that once again, I saw that genuine smile. And it never changed, even a bit.

“O ba’t ka napatawag?” Dawn repeated. It was a moment of silence for Richard. Dawn cleared her throat. It was as if Richard has something to say.

“Goma, may sinat ka ba o napipi?” she joked. “Uy kinakabahan ako pag ganyan ka.” She added, this time she wasn’t joking. She knew something was bothering him.

“Wala, na miss ko lang boses mo.” Richard answered softly.

Honestly, he meant it. He did miss her voice.

“Wala ka talaga magawa ano? Napatawag ka na rin lang at mukhang ginu-good time mo ako, ako, meron akong sasabihin.” She stated, refusing to believe what she heard.

“Ano? Na miss mo rin ako? Umamin ka na kasi…” Richard responded in a playful tone.

“Gwapong gwapo ka talaga sa sarilo mo no? Teka seryoso to, about your INC movie.” She said.

“O, what about it?” He straightened his back and turned serious.

“The producers called Viv early this morning, they offered me the role to be your character’s wife. I have yet to know the details and I still have to decide.” Dawn explained.

“Really?” He answered almost yelping. He couldn’t hide his excitement upon hearing it straight from Dawn. “And you are having second thoughts about it?” he added almost whispering.

“No, I’m not having second thoughts. Nagaalala lang ako kay… Anton. I mean, he still has a say with this.” She honestly answered.

Richard fell silent again, this time Dawn understood why.

“Goms, don’t ever think…” She tried to explain but Richard cut her short.

“Alam ko.” He answered in a tone that almost crushed Dawn’s heart.

“Iba na nga pag usapan natin…” She tried to divert the topic for clearly she doesn’t want to end this conversation yet. Wag mo muna ibabababa please.

“Uy Goms, nag trend tayo last night actually hanggang nagyon pa daw sabi ni Viv…” Dawn tried to be cheery as possible in her tone. She heard him took a deep breath.

“Goms, please… alam mo dapat masaya tayo kasi successful ang GGV guesting natin. Masama na yang pakiramdam mo, wag mo na dagdagan… please? I’ll be the reason kung bakit di ka gagaling. Sige ka, ako na magtatampo niyan, baka di ko na talaga tatanggapin ang INC project…” She threatened.

“Kung ikaw ang magiging rason kung di ako gagaling buti nga siguro lagnatin na lang talaga ako…” Richard answered in a tone weary tone yet smirking.

“Whaaaaat?! Yan naman ata ang di ko kakayanin… Uy, sige na Goma… please? For me?” Dawn pleaded.

Finally, Richard gave in. “Ikaw ha, that’s bribery… Kung di ka lang kita…” Richard didn’t finish his statement. Kung di lang kita… His mind would then finish the thought yet he didn’t entertained the idea and he still kept his mum.

Dawn waited for him to finish yet he didn’t. She choosed to ride on with him prodding him to say what he intended to say.

“Kung di mo ako, ano?” She challenged. “Alam ko naman na di mo ako matitiis eh.” She added proudly grinning from ear to ear.

Alam mo pala eh, tulad ngayon… Di ko matiis na di ka tawagan. Di ko matiis na di ko marinig boses mo. Pero di ko rin ata kaya na tanungin ka kung kasama mo Siya nanood kagabi kasi baka di ko rin kayanin ang sagot mo.

“Naku loko ka talaga, teka masama ba talaga pakiramdam mo?” Her voice turned serious.

“Eto naman, Dawn ganyan na ba talaga ako ka bolero na di mo na kayang maniwala sakin?” He asked in a “nagtatampo” tone.

“Aba malay ko ba kung trip mo lang and to answer your question oo bolero ka naman talaga, diba Mr. Gomez? Ano may lagnat ka ba talaga kasi parang okay ka naman.” She shot back. She didn’t know what to feel but clearly this discussion kept her in high spirit. She always enjoyed talking to him.

“Opo may lagnat po talaga ako 38.8°C nga po kanina temperature ko. At nag bago na po ako din a ako bolero, Mrs… Lagdameo.” Richard felt a pang when he uttered Dawn’s last name. It should’ve been my last name. His mind would tell him.

Dawn heard his pause. She cleared her throat and acted as if she heard nothing. Marami na nga nagbago sayo Goma, siguro nga what you’ve been through made you mature. Sayang lang I was not there to witness it pero alam ko binago ka Niya. And I can see she made you better, a better man. She was a good catch. She’s a good wife, Goms. Please don’t break her heart. Then she wondered where Lucy was.

“38.8°C? Have you taken your meds already? Breakfast?” She asked.

“Meds check, breakfast check. Mahirap pala na magkasakit na mag isa.” He said.

“Mag-isa? Where’s Lucy?”

“She’s in Ormoc, she’ll be home by Wednesday pa.” He said.

“Ah ganun ba. Drink a lot of water and rest. And fruits and eat on time. Don’t skip a meal kahit walang gana or else you can’t take you meds on an empty stomach.” She said. She can’t help not to worry.

“Dawn, relax okay? As if you hadn’t seen me handle this. Wala pa ito noong nagkasakit ka remember?” He tried to enlighten her memory. Truth is, he didn’t have to for she vividly remembered what happened that day.

As they both fell silent recalling every detail of that fateful day somewhere in 1991.

November 1991.

Richard came home right after from his taping. He was so exhausted for all the heavy scenes were intentionally shot today. He was expecting to see Dawn at the living room waiting for him like the usual yet he found nobody.

“Love?” He called out as he put his bag down.

No answer.

Akala ko ba wala siyang taping today.

“Love?” he repeated as he searched for her in the kitchen. He went upstairs and opened their room.

“Love asan ka… Dawn!!!” he shouted as he rushed to her side. He saw her lying on their bed in a C-shape position. Her eyes were shut as she continued chilling. She was warm to touch yet Richard hugged her tightly.

“Love ang init mo, ang taas ng lagnat mo!” Richard said as he caressed her face. His voice cracked as he held her. “Love, gising...”

“Babe…” She could hardly speak a word yet she tried to when she heard Richard’s cracked voice. She slowly opened her eyes.

Richard hugged her again and cried. He was so frightened upon seeing her that way. He felt her tears as he hugged her even tightly.

“Love shhhhh… andito na ako…” He kissed her forehead.

 He straightened her position as he draped her with blanket. He took a basin of water and a towel and patted her. He took her temperature. 39°C. He kissed her forehead again.

Dawn opened her eyes slowly. She was sure she had fallen asleep for she felt much better now. She smiled as she saw Richard sleeping next to her. He was hugging her. She blew a light kiss on the top of his nose hoping not to wake him up. She smiled as he slowly lifted his head and rubbed his eyes. “Babe…” She said.

Richard felt a kiss as he opened his eyes and winked several times trying to clear his vision from merely waking up. He saw his lady love smiling next to him completely different from what he saw earlier. She stroked his face and kissed him again on the lips this time.

“Love kamusta ka na?” He asked as he placed the back of his palm unto her forehead trying to feel her temperature. He was relieved that she was cooler now.

“Medyo okay na Babe…” She answered smiling.

“Wag mo na ako takutin uli ng ganon ha, akala ko kasi…” He intended not to finish what he was saying. He pinched her nose and kissed her on the cheek.

“Ano mamatay ako? Sira! Natakot ba kita Babe?” She asked giving him a puppy look.

“Oo, kaya wag mo na ulitin yun, pag sasama yang pakiramdam mo tapos ikaw lang mag-isa I-beep mo agad ako o si Vivian. Mabuti na lang maaga natapos ang taping ko.” He said lifting her chin tucking several strands of her hair to her ears.

“Opo.” She said as she tugged him closer.

“Love gutom ka na? Ano gusto mo kainin? Dapat kang kumain ng mabuti para gumaling ka na.” He said as he planted light kisses on her neck.

“Kahit ano Babe…” She said giggling like a happy kid.

“Sige I’ll make you dinner.” He shot back as he slowly crawled out of bed.

Dawn was wearing his t-shirt that looked baggy into her small frame. She was squatting in bed as she looked unto him. She was like a child in so many ways. She looked so beautiful and fragile.

“Teka pa kiss nga Love…” He added playfully.

Richard leaned down and kissed her, he stopped in the middle as he felt her smile. He caressed her face and kissed her once again. I’ll never get tired of doing this. His mind added.

Richard opened his eyes when he heard her giggle on the other line.

“Oo naalala ko! Nataranta ka nun!” Dawn said laughing.

“Kasi ikaw eh, sino ba hindi matataranta na pag dating ko wala kang malay tapos ang init init mo.” He shot back in defense.

Dawn only laughed on the other line. She found it amusing as they both remembered every detail. But before she could speak she heard Juiana’s voice on the other line.

“Dad? Dad?”

“Oh Goms, it’s almost lunch time na pala andyan na si Juliana…” Dawn said.

“Oo nga… Di ko rin na malayan ang oras… So paano I’ll hung up na…” He sighed.

“Yeah, me too baka anytime parating na rin si Anton and Jacobo. Pagaling ka ha. Bye.” She said almost in a weak tone.

“And Dawn?” He said catching her.

“Yes?”

“I hope you’ll consider the project.” He said as he meant every line of it.

“Sige I’ll call you back once I have my decision.” She said. “Bye then?” she then added.

“Bye for now…” he answered back smiling.

I’ll get you back even just for reel’s sake.

CharDawn fic "What If" (Chapter 4. The Offer she can't turn down)

8:30 AM. January 7, 2013.

Dawn was relaxing at their living room playing with her iPad. She was all alone today left with nothing to do. Anton was at work, Jacobo was at school and Ayisha went out with her Lola Cleo. She was playing Logos, it has been months since she last played this.  This game has been her favorite during her Walang Hanggan taping days. Actually, their favorite. Richard introduced her to this game and since then it has been their constant favorite. They would usually play this together as she would always rely on him whenever she’s in doubt of her answer. This time, she is having a hard time figuring the answer alone.

Kung andito si Goma, he could have figured this out kanina pa. If only her subconscious could speak in behalf of her.

 Her phone rang and she lazily picked it up.

“Good Morning, trending queen.” It was Vivian.

“Trending Queen? Good Morning Mare, ang aga mo yata.” She meant it. Vivian isn’t the morning person type.

“Heto maagang nagising kasi may tumawag sakin. At oo, trending ka pa hanggang ngayon. Tibay nung “I-Dawn Zulueta” ayaw kumawala sa trending topic.” Vivian told her.

“Nakakatuwa naman, natulog pa kaya ang mga batang yan?” she said smiling while shaking in disbelief.

“I tweeted na your “Thank You” message, tuwang tuwa ang mga fans! Kaya siguro trending ka pa, ginanahan sa message mo. By the way, what keeps you busy? May ibabalita ako...” Vivian said, she can tell that she’s excited.

“Eto nag re-relax naglalaro ng Logos. Ako lang today eh, Anton left early for work, Jacobo’s in school, Ayisha went out with mom.” She said while tapping her iPad.

“Logos? Akala ko ba yaw mo maglaro niyan ng wala ang ka partner mo.” Vivian asked.

“Wala ako magawa eh, and besides it has been months since I last played this. Eto nga o, hirap na hirap ako kung anong Logo to, I’m sure alam to ni Goma. Anyway napatawag ka?” She answered confidently.

“I’m sure both of you will play that again, soon.” Vivian answered.

For a moment Dawn was confused. “Soon? Why? Another guesting? She asked.

“No not yet. But, how would you like to be his wife again?” Vivian asked her back in a playful way.

Dawn was astonished. But how would you like to be his wife? Her mind voluntarily omitted the word “again” as if it was the way it should have been.

“Teka Mare, ang bilis naman ng Star Cinema, I thought after elections pa. I didn’t expect as early as now may pre prod na?” She asked as she put her iPad down and straightened her position.

“Okay, Mare this isn’t the Star Cinema. Remember when Goma said he will do a movie for INC and he will play the lead role?” Her manager asked.

“Uhmmm… Yeah? Tapos?” she managed to utter. She still can’t get it.

“The producers called me up just this morning. They need a partner for Goma’s character. As in they need a wife for Goma’s character and while watching GGV last night the producers thought it could be you. You and Goma were so perfect daw on screen. I mean, I have to tell them that you have always been a perfect pair, eversince. And don’t ever think you’re just a second choice for somebody ha? They were actually in search for somebody para I pair kay Goma, turned out ikaw lang talaga ang bagay sa kanya… on screen. Told them I’d consult you first and then I’ll call them back once you have your decision.” Vivian explained.

Her mind rattled. She processed everything that Vivian told her.

“So apart from Star Cinema to?” she asked.

“Yeah, if you’ll say yes. I’m sure you’ll say so pero iba pa rin pag galing sayo mismo.” Vivian said wittily.

“Vivs, you know naman kung ako lang, I’ll say yes but, is this something that I need to discuss with Anton? You know I already got his approval for the Star Cinema project and I think I have to get another one for this.” She stated, this time she was actually looking for an advice.

“Mare, Anton has always been so supportive but if you feel there is a need for his consent, then go, the INC producers aren’t rushing you up, kasi actually 2014 pa ito. If you need to think it over, go. Just let me know.” Vivian reassuringly answered.

“Okay sige. I’ll let you know. Bye.”

She put her phone down and breathed deeply. She was excited yet she knew she has to get Anton’s side. He was her husband, afterall.

Her heart skipped a beat. They’ll be working again. She can’t deny the idea thrilled her. She knew that they have this mutual feeling that whenever they are together during tapings or guestings, it never felt like it was about work. It was more of the enjoyment that they felt with each other. His presence would always make her feel alive.

Dahil siguro panay tawa ko whenever I’m with him. He makes me feel so happy and he lets me forget the rest of the world. That whatever we do… it’s just me and him. Yan siguro ang sinasabi nila na may sarili kaming mundo.

She can’t even explain nor put it in words but clearly her strong attachment to Richard is undeniable.

She was still in her deep thoughts when she heard her phone again. She picked it up and almost was at loss for words when the screen displayed the name of the caller.

It was Richard.

CharDawn fic "What If" (Chapter 3. And It's all coming back to him)

6:30 AM. January 7, 2013

“Dad… Dad…”

Richard opened his eyes slowly. She saw Juliana dressed in her uniform already.

“Baby, anong oras na ba?” He asked rubbing his eyes. He lifted his head and felt a throbbing headache.

“Dad, it’s past 6 na. I gotta go Dad, baka ma late ako. Wait, are you sick?” Juliana said, patting her father’s forehead with the back of her palm. “You’re warm, Dad. Wait, I’ll call Mom.” She added while looking for her phone.

“No!” He responded almost quickly. “Huwag na Baby, baka mag worry yun, you know she has work over there and baka mapa uwi yun ng di oras.” He reasoned out. He really didn’t want to fret Lucy knowing that she’ll worry too much.

“But you’re sick.” Juliana said sounding really worried.

He let his daughter sit on the edge of the bed. He can’t help but smile; her daughter inherited her mother’s instincts yet Juliana’s physical features were evidently more of him.

“Baby, this is just a Flu, I’ll get through this. Bed rest lang katapat nito. Don’t worry about me, okay? By the way nag breakfast ka na?” He asked. He may be sick right now but he still has to do his parental obligations.

“Yes Dad, a bowl of cereal with milk, pinagbalot na rin ako ni Manang for my snacks later.” Juliana replied.

“Good, magpahatid ka na lang sa driver since I can’t drive you to school today and when I feel better I’ll fetch you.” He said kissing his daughter’s forehead.

“Don’t worry Dad, you need a rest. Okay I really need to go. See you later.” She hugged her father then ran downstairs.

“Ingat! Love you!” He screeched.

Richard crawled out of bed slowly. He got a digital thermometer out of Lucy’s medicine cabinet and took a temperature of himself.

38.8°C.

Damn.

He picked the intercom and asked their helper for breakfast. He was sick and he got nobody to take care of him so he must look after himself. He got his phone and saw Lucy’s message. She has been in Ormoc for days now.

Good morning, honey! On my way to Ormoc’s Gym for the blessing of the computers, I may not be able to text you from time to time kasi we will be going frm one school to another for the distribution. Have a good day and I love you, honey! ;-)

He tapped for reply and knowing how busy his wife will be today, he didn’t bother to tell her his condition. He wished her good day and huwag masyadong magpapagod and ended it with I love you too.

Though his taste buds turned bland, he finished his breakfast and took Paracetamol and Ibuprofen. He turned on the television for some news; after all he got nothing to do for the whole day. He was watching absent mindedly. He was not feeling well and he knew his mind was pre occupied with what happened last night.

He smirked upon remembering his reactions to Vice’s punch lines. Was he really that obvious?

He could vividly recall that part when Vice ribbed them endlessly as to what their term of endearment used to be.

“Anong tawagan niyo?” Asked Vice.

“Ang tawag ko sa kanya, Babe. Oo…” Dawn answered honestly looking at him grinning.

He looked down for a moment as if trying to recall something, “Anong tawag ko sayo?” was all he could ever say.

“E… Ewan ko? di ko alam?” Dawn shot back as if trying to recuperate.

“Ba’t di mo alam?” Vice shrieked, almost sounded too unbelievable for Richard not to remember.

“Di mo maalala? Di mo maalala? Talaga?” Dawn kept on repeating unto him. Her eye-to-eye contact with him was almost searching for the truth. The truth which she knows he knew, too well.

“Anong tawag ko sayo?” Yet he asked again twice this time, smiling wide enough that he looked so thrilled.

He wanted to tick off himself that moment. Of course he does remember. What happened 23 years ago came rushing back in his mind. Actually it never left, it was just there. Just don’t… Not now, not in front of everyone. He wanted to plead her. I might kiss you.

Dawn can only smirk for she knew he was clearly playing around.

“Paano ulit yun?” Vice asked as if trying to butt in between the two.

“Ang tawag mo sakin noon, LOVE!” Dawn responded without batting an eyelash giving emphasis on the word LOVE.

“Love…” He reiterated gently, drawing Dawn closer to his side. There’s this strong enigma that he wanted to hug her that very moment. He wanted but he couldn’t.

“Hoy eto, teka lang ha…” Vice said pointing him and giggling simultaneously. “Teka lang, walang halong echos ha…” he added almost swearing. “Kumislap ang mata mo, I swear… Direk I tight shot mo! Wa echos, I tight shot mo lang yung mata ni Richard! O? ba’t ayaw mo ipakita? Ipakita mo lang yung mata mo!” Vice yelped giggling.

“Nahihiya ako kasi hindi ko maalala.” He retorted in defense.

“Hindi! Nung sinabi niyang LOVE may gumanon! Promise!” Vice re-enacted trying to say that his eyes sparkled when Dawn said the magic word, LOVE.

He let out a weak laugh and tried to regain his composure. Needless to say, the word Love sounded so right, especially coming from the woman beside him and he damn missed it. She damn missed her saying that. So much, so much that it shows.

“Ha… Gaga!” He laughed at him thinking that was the only justification he has at the moment.

But Vice only used it against him as he saw how uncomfortable he was.

“Uyyyyy… na a-awkward!” Vice taunted him endlessly. And Dawn could only giggle on his side.

Yes indeed he was. Of course that Reunited song playing as the background music didn’t help him either. He was smiling sheepishly. He felt cold sweats on his palms as he felt his blood rushing through his cheeks too. He was blushing. He appeared to be nervous yet he was happy. No, he was ecstatic.

He smiled at the memory. It has been 23 years since they parted ways yet Dawn still has this effect on him. He can’t even explain his connection with her but for him he knew that connection has always been deep and special. He picked up his phone and dialed her number. This time he was sure. 

I need to talk to her.

CharDawn fic "What If" (Chapter 2. Her Queries)

12:15 AM. January 7, 2013.

“Talaga Mare?!” Dawn exclaimed but kept it a level so as not to wake up her kids.

She poured herself an ounce of wine. She was talking to Vivian (Recio), her Manager-slash-best-friend.

“They’re so amazing, imagine world wide trend. Pina trend na naman kami ni Goma. Paano kaya yun nagawa ng mga fans” She can’t help but wonder.

“Aren’t they? And Mare, the CD Club they’re in state of euphoria right now. It’s like they’re having a twitter party ngayon. Kinukulit si Goma oh, mag papa Dawn Zulueta daw sila. Nakakaaliw sila, Mare. Congrats.” Vivian said on the other line. She could be awarded for multi tasking, talking to Dawn while scrolling her Twitter for updates.

“Thank you, Mare! But hey! Thanks to the fans! Grabe nakakabilib sila! I can only imagine my babies right now, esp the CharDawns. Noong taping pa lang nga they were so alive and loud ngayon pa kaya. I’m glad Goma and I made them extra happy. ” She said and she really meant it.

She has always been grateful to the fans. Their loyalty and support has always kept her grounded and humble.

“Wait, I’ll compose a message for them, can you tweet it for me?” She said excitedly.

She does that always, thanking her fans and letting Vivian tweet it in her behalf. And the fans loved her more for it, they felt all their efforts are paid off and appreciated whenever Vivian tweets their Mama’s message.

“Sure, that would absolutely make their night.” Vivian agreed.

“Okay Mare, I’ll call you when I’m done.”

Dawn immediately composed her “Thank You” message to be sent to Vivian through sms. It went this way, “Maraming maraming Salamat sa lahat ng fans na nanuod ng GGV at pina-trend kami ni Goma.” She stopped right there and smiled upon typing his name.

Goma.

After all these years she has always been so comfortable using that moniker to him. It felt like it was the closest thing that she could use next to Babe.

She wondered how he feels right now. Did he ever watch it? Or did they watch it? Together?

Lucy’s a fan so apparently they watched it. Together.

Her mind is full of assumptions. She remembered the GGV taping.

“Nakikita ko naco-conscious siya (Richard) feeling ko may something ka pa kay Dawn.” Vice teased him endlessly to no avail.

She saw him laugh. By the look of it she can tell it was a feigned laugh. She knew him damn too well. He faked a laugh to ease his tension and to divert his awkwardness which was too visible anyway. She tried to be relaxed and composed so that Vice won’t pick her up, for if he did, she might not be able control herself as well.

You’re way too obvious Goma. She would tell at the back of her mind.

GGV cut that part. She wasn’t sure if she’s happy that it wasn’t sure. There’s this vague feeling that she couldn’t understand.

Her recollection was cut short when her phone rang. It was Vivian.

“O mare, are you done with your message? Wala pa akong may natatanggap ah o baka delayed na naman ang messages?” Vivian asked, seemingly hesitant. Doing a “Thank You” message is something that Dawn does in an instant. This time, it took her what, 15 minutes?

Dawn was thunderstruck for a moment, she completely forgot about the “Thank You” message.

“Naku Mare, I’m not done yet. I stopped in the middle.” She answered.

“Bakit naman?”

“Kasi si… Goma.” She shot back.

“O, what about him?” Vivian asked, completely surprised.

“Ano kaya nararamdaman niya ngayon, Vivs?” Dawn honestly asked.

Vivian didn’t know what to tell her. Clearly this conversation surprised her. Dawn surprised her.

“Mare, does it even matter if you knew?” She can’t help but ask. She had known Dawn for years and she can instantly tell if she’s bothered. And she is, right now.

“Ano kasi… nevermind, asan na nga ba tayo?” Dawn asked patting her forehead.

“Yung “Thank You” message mo for the fans.” Vivian told her as if trying to wake her up.

“Pero Dawn ha, we need to talk, may be some other time pag nakakapag isip ka na.” She added not in a stern manager voice but in a sisterly and reassuring tone.

“You know me Vivs, basta I have series of questions lang in my mind. Let’s talk about it next time. And yung message, sige teka tatapusin ko.” Dawn honestly told her. She knew she could tell Vivian everything. Their friendship has been tested and polished for years.

Honk.

She stood up and instantly looked the wall clock.

12:45 AM

 She peeped through the window. A white corporate car stopped its engine on their car port.

“May bisita kayo at this very ungodly hour?” Vivian asked upon hearing that sound on the other line.

“Si Anton kararating lang from Davao, may appointment. Sige Vivs, I have to go and make him dinner. I almost forgot I was waiting for him pala. ” She said almost shaking her head in disbelief. She was waiting for her husband to come home that’s why she stayed up late even GGV was done.

“Dahil kay Goma.” Vivian couldn’t help but tease her.

“Sinapian ka ata ni Vice eh. Oh sige I have to hang up na. Goodnight, Mare.” Dawn fired back giggling.

She looked at the mirror and she smiled at her own reflection.

Bakit ba ang dami mong nakakalimutan tonight? Hindi ka naman makakalimutin. Ano ba kasi sayo kung ano ang nararamdaman niya ngayon?

She wanted to scold herself yet she can’t help but agree, that Vivian was indeed, right.

Dahil kay Goma.

She smiled.

Upon Anton’s entrance, she welcomed him wearing that very same smile.

CharDawn fic "What If" (Chapter 1. His Queries)

12:40 AM. January 7, 2013.

Richard was on the couch resting his feet on the other chair. Their lanai has been his haven for days now.  He sipped his coffee much to his delight that it was already cold. He raised his hands and rested it behind his head, tilting it beneath the midnight sky.

Ano ba tong nangyayari sakin? He couldn’t help but ask himself.

He looked at his watch. 12:45 AM, it says.

He was about to take another sip of his coffee when his phone rang. He picked it up and smiled when he saw who the caller was.

“Hon…” he said half smiling.

“Hon, I watched GGV kanina.” It was Lucy. Her voice was so serene and it made him smile a bit more.

“So how was it, alam mo ba I wasn’t able to catch it?” liar. He wanted to slap himself.

“I was literally, laughing the whole time. Vice is such a comic. You and Dawn were so game. I must say kinaya mong buhatin yong isang fan. It was really hilarious. That was the highlight. Bakit hindi ka pala nanood?”

Of course she was talking about the famous, “I-Dawn Zulueta moko” antic.

“Tinabihan ko kasi si Juliana pinatulog ko ng maaga kasi baka ma late sa school bukas.” He proudly tells his wife, which is true by the way.

“Eh, naka idlip din pala ako, pag bukas ko ng TV tapos na.” He said as-a-matter-of-factly trying to conceal his hesitation. Truth is, after putting Juliana to sleep he went to his office to watch.

“Ganun ba sayang, you should have seen yourself, Hon. It was so amusing.” Lucy tells him giddily.

I should have seen myself smiling like crazy. I should have seen how awkward I was on some points. I should have seen myself blushing like a teenager. I should have seen the spark. That it’s still there. That it never went away.

Of course I saw that. I was watching the whole time.

His mind was racing. For a moment he was speechless. He didn’t know what to say.

“Hon? Still there? Inaantok ka na siguro.” it almost made him jump.

“Yes Hon, I’m here, I’m sorry.” He faked a yawn.

“Aw you must be really tired, okay you get some sleep na Honey, I hope you kissed Juliana goodnight for me. I love you Honey.” Lucy then cooed a kissing sound that sounded “mwah.”

“I love you more, Honey.”

“Have a good sleep.” Lucy added.

“You too, and Hon?”

“Yes?”

“When will you be home?” he asked.

“Honey, diba ikaw ang nag book ng ticket ko online, thought you should know it firsthand.” He can tell that Lucy’s smiling while saying that.

“Naglalambing lang… alam ko naman na sa Wednesday pa.” he said pouting his lips.

“Honey, you’re really a charmer. I miss you.” Lucy has always been so sweet.

“Ngayon ikaw naman naglalambing… sige na tulog ka na din I know maaga ka pa mamaya. I love you.” He said.

“And I love you too, Honey.”

He put his phone down.

He took a deep breath. He shook his head in disbelief.

Bakit ba kasi ako ganito? Nanood naman ako pero bakit gumawa pa ako ng kwento na hindi ako nanood? Wala namang problema dun kasi kahit nga asawa ko nanood din. At pasalamat nga dapat ako kasi may parts na nai.cut. I wonder if she’ll ever see the whole of it.

Then it came across his mind.

Dawn.

For a moment he wondered what she’s doing right now. How was she feeling right then? Did she ever watch it? Or did they watch it? Together?

He took out his phone, his fingers scribbled back and forth until it stopped to a certain person in his contact list. Dawn Lagdameo.

For a moment, he stopped, thinking slowly as if trying to process everything.

O? Ano tatawag ka ganitong oras? Magtatanong kung nanood siya? Tapos kasi wala lang, gusto mo lang mag tanong?  Foul.

He put his phone to his pocket and went upstairs. Seemingly avoidant as to what could have been the answers to his questions.

Itulog mo na nga kung ano man yan. He told himself trying to make it calm.