CharDawn fic "What If" (Chapter 5. Conversations and Realizations)

9:30 AM. January 7, 2013

Richard straightened his back as he gripped his phone tighter. His eyebrows met as he counted the 6^th ring the he heard on the other line. Why isn’t she picking this call? Kanina lang busy, tapos ngayon ayaw sagutin. He got into his signature bugnutin look.

Ring.

“Goms…” he finally heard her angelic voice on the other line.

His throat turned dry.

“Dawn… Hi… G… good morning.” He can’t help it, her voice made him startle. Bakit ba ako nauutal.  Richard wanted to scold himself.

“Good morning… Uy, are you okay? You seemed to be anxious.” She asked. Ako ata kinakabahan sayo eh. Her inner voice would tell her.

“No… Yes! Yes! I’m okay.” He answered back, then slapping his forehead. Umayos ka, ikaw may gustong tawagan siya.

“No then Yes? Pwede ba yun? Goms ha, kilala kita. Ninenerbiyos ka ba?” She said addressing him directly.

“Ako? Hindi… ano kasi, masama lang pakiramdam ko. May konting sinat.” He answered, which is partially true because half of it he was really nervous.

“Bakit? Nilagnat ka sa napanood mo kagabi?” She teased. “And by the way, kita ko nag blush ka nga!” She added while giggling on the other line.

“Ikaw kasi eh, masyadong honest!” He shot back, he smiled upon the memory.

“At ikaw, masyadong echos! Sus, Love lang di mo maalala? Ewan ko sa yo Goma… O ba’t ka napatawag?” She asked, she’s clearly enjoying this conversation.

“Promise hindi ko talaga maalala… Sorry…” Of course, I do remember. It used to be the only word that I only knew at that time for it used to be my term for the woman that drove me crazy in love. And it was you, only you. And you know what; it almost killed me when I acted like a fool for not remembering it. I know it pained you too, I saw it in your eyes. When you said “nagtampo”, I brought you closer to my side for I knew; whether you’ll admit it or not a part of it was true. Nagtampo ka nga nung hindi ko maalala. At gusto kitang yakapin dahil gusto kong mag sorry.

“Sus, eto ang hilig mo pa din mag sorry. Oo sige na…” She retreated. Alam ko naman na alam mo pa, but I also knew that pride of yours is eating you. I knew you were just acting up. It was your defense mechanism because all the time during that GGV taping, between you and me you were the obvious one Goms. Your eyes, your smile and the way you look. And by the way, I missed that smile. It was like after 23 years that once again, I saw that genuine smile. And it never changed, even a bit.

“O ba’t ka napatawag?” Dawn repeated. It was a moment of silence for Richard. Dawn cleared her throat. It was as if Richard has something to say.

“Goma, may sinat ka ba o napipi?” she joked. “Uy kinakabahan ako pag ganyan ka.” She added, this time she wasn’t joking. She knew something was bothering him.

“Wala, na miss ko lang boses mo.” Richard answered softly.

Honestly, he meant it. He did miss her voice.

“Wala ka talaga magawa ano? Napatawag ka na rin lang at mukhang ginu-good time mo ako, ako, meron akong sasabihin.” She stated, refusing to believe what she heard.

“Ano? Na miss mo rin ako? Umamin ka na kasi…” Richard responded in a playful tone.

“Gwapong gwapo ka talaga sa sarilo mo no? Teka seryoso to, about your INC movie.” She said.

“O, what about it?” He straightened his back and turned serious.

“The producers called Viv early this morning, they offered me the role to be your character’s wife. I have yet to know the details and I still have to decide.” Dawn explained.

“Really?” He answered almost yelping. He couldn’t hide his excitement upon hearing it straight from Dawn. “And you are having second thoughts about it?” he added almost whispering.

“No, I’m not having second thoughts. Nagaalala lang ako kay… Anton. I mean, he still has a say with this.” She honestly answered.

Richard fell silent again, this time Dawn understood why.

“Goms, don’t ever think…” She tried to explain but Richard cut her short.

“Alam ko.” He answered in a tone that almost crushed Dawn’s heart.

“Iba na nga pag usapan natin…” She tried to divert the topic for clearly she doesn’t want to end this conversation yet. Wag mo muna ibabababa please.

“Uy Goms, nag trend tayo last night actually hanggang nagyon pa daw sabi ni Viv…” Dawn tried to be cheery as possible in her tone. She heard him took a deep breath.

“Goms, please… alam mo dapat masaya tayo kasi successful ang GGV guesting natin. Masama na yang pakiramdam mo, wag mo na dagdagan… please? I’ll be the reason kung bakit di ka gagaling. Sige ka, ako na magtatampo niyan, baka di ko na talaga tatanggapin ang INC project…” She threatened.

“Kung ikaw ang magiging rason kung di ako gagaling buti nga siguro lagnatin na lang talaga ako…” Richard answered in a tone weary tone yet smirking.

“Whaaaaat?! Yan naman ata ang di ko kakayanin… Uy, sige na Goma… please? For me?” Dawn pleaded.

Finally, Richard gave in. “Ikaw ha, that’s bribery… Kung di ka lang kita…” Richard didn’t finish his statement. Kung di lang kita… His mind would then finish the thought yet he didn’t entertained the idea and he still kept his mum.

Dawn waited for him to finish yet he didn’t. She choosed to ride on with him prodding him to say what he intended to say.

“Kung di mo ako, ano?” She challenged. “Alam ko naman na di mo ako matitiis eh.” She added proudly grinning from ear to ear.

Alam mo pala eh, tulad ngayon… Di ko matiis na di ka tawagan. Di ko matiis na di ko marinig boses mo. Pero di ko rin ata kaya na tanungin ka kung kasama mo Siya nanood kagabi kasi baka di ko rin kayanin ang sagot mo.

“Naku loko ka talaga, teka masama ba talaga pakiramdam mo?” Her voice turned serious.

“Eto naman, Dawn ganyan na ba talaga ako ka bolero na di mo na kayang maniwala sakin?” He asked in a “nagtatampo” tone.

“Aba malay ko ba kung trip mo lang and to answer your question oo bolero ka naman talaga, diba Mr. Gomez? Ano may lagnat ka ba talaga kasi parang okay ka naman.” She shot back. She didn’t know what to feel but clearly this discussion kept her in high spirit. She always enjoyed talking to him.

“Opo may lagnat po talaga ako 38.8°C nga po kanina temperature ko. At nag bago na po ako din a ako bolero, Mrs… Lagdameo.” Richard felt a pang when he uttered Dawn’s last name. It should’ve been my last name. His mind would tell him.

Dawn heard his pause. She cleared her throat and acted as if she heard nothing. Marami na nga nagbago sayo Goma, siguro nga what you’ve been through made you mature. Sayang lang I was not there to witness it pero alam ko binago ka Niya. And I can see she made you better, a better man. She was a good catch. She’s a good wife, Goms. Please don’t break her heart. Then she wondered where Lucy was.

“38.8°C? Have you taken your meds already? Breakfast?” She asked.

“Meds check, breakfast check. Mahirap pala na magkasakit na mag isa.” He said.

“Mag-isa? Where’s Lucy?”

“She’s in Ormoc, she’ll be home by Wednesday pa.” He said.

“Ah ganun ba. Drink a lot of water and rest. And fruits and eat on time. Don’t skip a meal kahit walang gana or else you can’t take you meds on an empty stomach.” She said. She can’t help not to worry.

“Dawn, relax okay? As if you hadn’t seen me handle this. Wala pa ito noong nagkasakit ka remember?” He tried to enlighten her memory. Truth is, he didn’t have to for she vividly remembered what happened that day.

As they both fell silent recalling every detail of that fateful day somewhere in 1991.

November 1991.

Richard came home right after from his taping. He was so exhausted for all the heavy scenes were intentionally shot today. He was expecting to see Dawn at the living room waiting for him like the usual yet he found nobody.

“Love?” He called out as he put his bag down.

No answer.

Akala ko ba wala siyang taping today.

“Love?” he repeated as he searched for her in the kitchen. He went upstairs and opened their room.

“Love asan ka… Dawn!!!” he shouted as he rushed to her side. He saw her lying on their bed in a C-shape position. Her eyes were shut as she continued chilling. She was warm to touch yet Richard hugged her tightly.

“Love ang init mo, ang taas ng lagnat mo!” Richard said as he caressed her face. His voice cracked as he held her. “Love, gising...”

“Babe…” She could hardly speak a word yet she tried to when she heard Richard’s cracked voice. She slowly opened her eyes.

Richard hugged her again and cried. He was so frightened upon seeing her that way. He felt her tears as he hugged her even tightly.

“Love shhhhh… andito na ako…” He kissed her forehead.

 He straightened her position as he draped her with blanket. He took a basin of water and a towel and patted her. He took her temperature. 39°C. He kissed her forehead again.

Dawn opened her eyes slowly. She was sure she had fallen asleep for she felt much better now. She smiled as she saw Richard sleeping next to her. He was hugging her. She blew a light kiss on the top of his nose hoping not to wake him up. She smiled as he slowly lifted his head and rubbed his eyes. “Babe…” She said.

Richard felt a kiss as he opened his eyes and winked several times trying to clear his vision from merely waking up. He saw his lady love smiling next to him completely different from what he saw earlier. She stroked his face and kissed him again on the lips this time.

“Love kamusta ka na?” He asked as he placed the back of his palm unto her forehead trying to feel her temperature. He was relieved that she was cooler now.

“Medyo okay na Babe…” She answered smiling.

“Wag mo na ako takutin uli ng ganon ha, akala ko kasi…” He intended not to finish what he was saying. He pinched her nose and kissed her on the cheek.

“Ano mamatay ako? Sira! Natakot ba kita Babe?” She asked giving him a puppy look.

“Oo, kaya wag mo na ulitin yun, pag sasama yang pakiramdam mo tapos ikaw lang mag-isa I-beep mo agad ako o si Vivian. Mabuti na lang maaga natapos ang taping ko.” He said lifting her chin tucking several strands of her hair to her ears.

“Opo.” She said as she tugged him closer.

“Love gutom ka na? Ano gusto mo kainin? Dapat kang kumain ng mabuti para gumaling ka na.” He said as he planted light kisses on her neck.

“Kahit ano Babe…” She said giggling like a happy kid.

“Sige I’ll make you dinner.” He shot back as he slowly crawled out of bed.

Dawn was wearing his t-shirt that looked baggy into her small frame. She was squatting in bed as she looked unto him. She was like a child in so many ways. She looked so beautiful and fragile.

“Teka pa kiss nga Love…” He added playfully.

Richard leaned down and kissed her, he stopped in the middle as he felt her smile. He caressed her face and kissed her once again. I’ll never get tired of doing this. His mind added.

Richard opened his eyes when he heard her giggle on the other line.

“Oo naalala ko! Nataranta ka nun!” Dawn said laughing.

“Kasi ikaw eh, sino ba hindi matataranta na pag dating ko wala kang malay tapos ang init init mo.” He shot back in defense.

Dawn only laughed on the other line. She found it amusing as they both remembered every detail. But before she could speak she heard Juiana’s voice on the other line.

“Dad? Dad?”

“Oh Goms, it’s almost lunch time na pala andyan na si Juliana…” Dawn said.

“Oo nga… Di ko rin na malayan ang oras… So paano I’ll hung up na…” He sighed.

“Yeah, me too baka anytime parating na rin si Anton and Jacobo. Pagaling ka ha. Bye.” She said almost in a weak tone.

“And Dawn?” He said catching her.

“Yes?”

“I hope you’ll consider the project.” He said as he meant every line of it.

“Sige I’ll call you back once I have my decision.” She said. “Bye then?” she then added.

“Bye for now…” he answered back smiling.

I’ll get you back even just for reel’s sake.